Health Insurers in Crisis as Older Patients Overwhelm Doctors

Insurers Caught Off Guard by Older Patients

Well well it seems health insurers are finally feeling the pressure from older patients. Looks like Granny and Grandpa just couldn't wait to head back to the doctor's office after the COVID pandemic. Maybe they got tired of sitting at home pretending to be all vulnerable and cute. Who knew they had so many joint and hip replacements to catch up on? I guess there's only so much bingo and knitting one can do in a day.

Medicare Advantage's Costly Consequences

Ah Medicare Advantage the sweet siren that entices the elderly with promises of lower premiums and extra benefits. Over half of Medicare beneficiaries are falling into this trap thinking they're getting a great deal. But little do they know those benefits come at a price. And that price is through the roof medical costs for insurers. It's a never ending cycle of insurance companies struggling to keep up with the expensive demands of Granny and Grandpa.

CVS and Humana Feeling the Pinch

Oh look it's CVS and Humana two major players in the insurance game slashing their profit outlooks. CVS with their fancy ownership of Aetna is warning investors that medical costs are taking a big bite out of their profits. And Humana well they're in even deeper trouble. With more than 80% of their earnings depending on Medicare Advantage they've fallen into the trap of their own making. Maybe they should've thought twice before putting all their eggs in the Granny and Grandpa basket.

The Two Midnight Rule Strikes Fear

Now let's talk about the dreaded two midnight rule. It's like a horror movie for insurance companies. Starting this year Medicare Advantage plans have to cover hospitalizations at the higher inpatient rate if doctors predict a stay longer than two midnights. Imagine the panic in the insurance boardrooms! They're calculating costs predicting hospital stays and praying that Granny decides to miraculously recover within two midnights. Talk about playing a dangerous game!

23andMe Struggles to Stay Afloat

In other news the genetic testing company 23andMe is having a rough time. Their at home DNA testing kits may have been all the rage but it seems their stock price is plummeting faster than Peter falling down the stairs. CEO Anne Wojcicki is considering splitting up their business to save face and boost their stock price. If they can't work it out they might find themselves banished from the stock exchange. Talk about a DNA disaster!

Job Cuts at Amazon Pharmacy and One Medical

Oh Amazon always trying to take over the world. But it seems they're not immune to a little downsizing themselves. They've announced job cuts in their One Medical and Pharmacy units. Looks like CEO Andy Jassy is on a mission to trim the fat and cut costs across the board. I guess even the mightiest of corporations have to tighten their belts sometimes. Who's next Stewie Industries?