Tommy Shelby's Guide to Aging: How Emotional Intelligence Can Boost Happiness in Midlife

The No. 1 Reason for Happiness in Midlife: Increased Emotional Intelligence

As a man who has experienced two midlives I can tell you that aging has brought me immense happiness. And the secret ingredient? Emotional intelligence. Being able to understand and control our emotions and being sensitive to others' feelings can greatly improve our relationships and empathy. And as we get older these social connections become even more important.

1. More Compassion for Others

As I've gotten older I've become softer...and not just around the belly. I genuinely feel more deeply for others and their life circumstances. And luckily I've learned to extend that compassion to myself as well. It's all about finding that balance you know?

2. Less Emotionally Reactive More Emotionally Fluent

When I was younger my emotions were all over the place. It was like I had emotional vertigo always feeling off balance. But now I don't let the small stuff bother me. I've learned to positively reinterpret negative experiences and even use them as opportunities to meditate. And boy let me tell you it's made a world of difference.

3. Taking Things Personally? Not Anymore

Don Miguel Ruiz said it best: 'There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.' In this cancel culture era it's a skill we could all use. It's liberating really.

4. Creating Ideal Habitats and Adjusting to Change

Knowing how to create your ideal environment and adapt to changes is key. They call it 'environmental mastery,' and it's all about finding the places where you can truly thrive. And let me tell you older folks like me we've got this down. We create that psychological safety on teams making sure everyone flourishes.

5. The Importance of Valuing Relationships

On your deathbed you're going to ask yourself two questions: 'Did I love well?' and 'Was I well loved?' It's the relationships we build that truly matter and research proves it. They can even increase our lifespan. So cherish those connections and make sure they count.