Say Hello to My Little Friend: Bushfire Rages out of Control in Australia's Victoria State

The Heat is On

So these bushfires in Victoria state man they're raging like a Colombian cartel on a mission. Authorities are issuing evacuation alerts left and right it's like they're saying 'Run to Ballarat or face the wrath of El Diablo'.

A Blaze of Destruction

The new blaze is threatening the rural town of Amphitheatre with a population smaller than the guest list at one of my parties. Three homes and several outbuildings have already gone up in flames. It's like a scene from one of my movies just with more firefighters and less Tony Montana swagger.

No Control Man

Vic Emergency is out here saying 'Leaving immediately is the safest option before conditions become too dangerous'. It's like they're channeling their inner Tony Montana 'You wanna play rough? Ok say hello to my little friend evacuation orders!'

El Nino in the Mix

Australia is caught up in this El Nino weather pattern causing all this chaos. It's like the weather is saying 'Say goodbye to normal and hello to wildfires cyclones and droughts'. It's tough out there man.

Remembering the Black Summer

Let's not forget the Black Summer when bushfires ravaged Australia like I used to ravage Miami back in the day. 33 people and 3 billion animals gone in the flames. It's like a tragedy movie but real life.

Fight Fire with Firefighters

Over 1,000 firefighters and 50 aircraft are out here battling these blazes. It's like a war zone but instead of bullets they're using water and fire retardant. Stay strong Australia we'll get through this.