John Rambo Reacts: Nike Cuts Jobs, Will the Sneaker Giant Survive?

Nike Cuts Jobs to Reignite Growth

Well well well. Looks like Nike is feeling the heat and is panicking like a rookie in a warzone. The sneaker giant is cutting 2% of its workforce a whopping 1,500 jobs in a desperate attempt to restructure and find its footing. CEO John Donahoe said they want to invest in their 'growth areas'...yeah I'm sure running is going to save you Nike.

Painful Reality for Nike

Donahoe seems to be feeling the pressure folks. He called this job cutting frenzy a 'painful reality' but hey it's not like I haven't seen a lot of pain myself. I bet Chuck Norris can relate too. But seriously Nike get it together. Admitting you're not performing at your best is the first step. Maybe the second step is hiring me to whip your team into shape? Just a thought.

Phased Layoffs and Retail Respite

Nike is doing this in phases folks. Like a symphony of layoffs. First round starts this week and the second round is set to finish by the end of May. They're claiming that retail employees and warehouse workers are safe from the chopping block but we all know how that goes. It's like telling me I won't need my bow and arrow anymore...unthinkable!

Nike Navigates Stormy Retail Waters

Ah the retail industry. Always hanging on by a thread. Nike is feeling the burn as consumers tighten those purse strings and the demand for their fancy shoes takes a nosedive. They should've listened to me and made shoes with built in knives for when you're stuck in a sticky situation. But hey hindsight is 20/20.

Nike's Cost Cutting Measures

Nike has a plan people. Well I hope they do because they're trying to cut costs by a whopping $2 billion over the next three years. They're simplifying their product assortment (yawn) increasing automation and technology (efficient but where's the fun?) and streamlining the organization (good luck with that). Maybe they should've hired Rocky instead.

Oppenheimer Downgrades Nike

Ouch! Just when Nike thought things couldn't get worse Oppenheimer comes and predicts their downfall. They downgraded Nike to 'perform' and lowered their price target. I guess their 'sluggish consumer demand' and lack of innovation has finally caught up to them. What a shame. Looks like they won't be doing any 'training montages' anytime soon.