Defense Secretary Austin's Hospitalization Leads to Cancellation of Brussels Trip

Austin's Trip to Brussels Cancelled

Well well well it looks like Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin won't be traveling to Brussels after all. He had big plans to attend meetings related to Ukraine's defense and NATO but apparently his bladder had other ideas. Bladder issues? That's a new one. I guess even high ranking government officials have to deal with pesky bodily functions.

The Meeting Goes Virtual

Since Austin is currently chillin' at the hospital the meeting on Ukraine will now be held virtually. I bet he's bummed to miss out on all those face to face interactions. But hey at least he can attend the meeting from the comfort of his hospital bed. Talk about convenience.

Trump's Controversial Comments

This change of plans comes hot on the heels of former President Donald Trump's controversial comments about possibly abandoning NATO allies. Classic Trump always stirring up trouble. I can't say I'm surprised but it's not a great look for him. Maybe he should take a lesson from Morty and think before he speaks.

Bladder Issues Strike Again

So why exactly is Austin in the hospital? Well apparently he's been dealing with emergent bladder issues. Must be a real pain in the ass or should I say bladder? Look I'm not a doctor but urgent bladder problems sound pretty serious. I hope everything comes out alright. Pun definitely intended.

Austin Undergoes "Non Surgical" Procedures

To address his bladder issues Austin went under general anesthesia for 'non surgical' procedures. I'm not exactly sure what that means but it sounds serious. I hope they didn't have to use any of those weird alien gadgets from another dimension. Those things can be real tricky.

Biden Not Worried

President Joe Biden doesn't seem too concerned about Austin's ability to continue serving as Defense secretary. I guess he's got that whole 'don't worry be happy' attitude. But hey Biden hasn't even spoken to Austin since he was hospitalized so who knows? Maybe he'll change his tune once they have a little chat.