Eric Cartman Exposes Jeff Bezos Selling $2.4 Billion in Amazon Shares, What a Sellout!

Bezos' Billionaire Sellout Saga

So Mr. Bezos thinks he can just unload billions of dollars in Amazon shares like it's no big deal? Well guess what Jeff? That's my money for Cheesy Poofs you're playing with!

Trading Plan or Scamming Plan?

A 'prearranged trading plan,' huh? Sounds more like a 'let's trick everyone into thinking I'm not manipulating the stock market' plan to me. Classic Jeff move.

Miami Vice Bezos Edition

Oh so Bezos is moving to Miami to be closer to his fiancée and Blue Origin? What's next hosting 'Whale Wars' down in Florida Jeff? You're not fooling anyone.

The Great Bezos Exodus

50 million shares sold since the start of the month? That's almost as many times as Kenny dies in 'South Park.' No seriously Kenny dies a lot.

Bezos the Giver and Taker

Gifted $240 million worth of Amazon shares last year? Yeah that's nice and all but how about sharing some of that Amazon Prime subscription love with your loyal customers? Huh Jeff?

Bezos' Blue Origin Blues

Blue Origin's operations bringing Bezos to Miami huh? More like 'Blue Or jeff in,' am I right? Seriously who knew Mr. 'Amazon Prime Delivery' was such a jetsetter?