10 Stocks That Will Make You Laugh All the Way to the Bank!

1. S&P 500 Crosses 5,000 Donkey Says 'That's a Lot of Onions!'

Hey folks! Donkey here bringing you the latest scoop on the stock market. Looks like the S&P 500 briefly crossed the 5,000 mark! Now that's what I call a big juicy onion! I bet Shrek would love to sink his teeth into that one. But seriously the stock market is looking pretty good with a 5% increase this year. Time to make some green!

2. PepsiCo Misses Revenue Expectations Donkey Sips a Can of 'Disappoint Cola'

Well well well looks like PepsiCo had a rare miss in their revenue. Gotta admit it's a bummer when your can of soda doesn't fizz as much as you expected. But hey it's not all bad news! They did manage to beat earnings and increase their dividend. So bottoms up! Oh and if you're wondering Shrek still prefers Ogre Cola with extra swamp flavor!

3. Affirm Beats Expectations Donkey Sings 'I'm a Believer!'

Guess who's having a remarkable quarter? Affirm! The buy now pay later business is soaring despite some naysayers trying to rain on their parade. CEO Max Levchin is like a fairy godmother making dreams come true. I'm a believer in Affirm's success!

4. Pinterest Faces Drop in Shares Donkey Says 'Not Another Snap Please!'

Oh no Pinterest what's with the drop in shares? I mean come on they beat earnings but apparently their forecast wasn't as Pinterest worthy. But let's not compare them to Snap that's just ridiculous! Pinterest is still in its early stages of world domination and they have good deals with Google and Amazon. Don't underestimate the power of pins!

5. Cloudflare Soars Donkey Predicts a Flood of Success!

Cloudflare the cloud services provider is on fire! Their fourth quarter earnings beat expectations and their full year outlook is looking bright. You know what that means? It's raining success for Cloudflare! CEO Matthew Prince is going to have one heck of a Mad Money interview tonight. I hope he brings his umbrella to keep all that success from soaking him!

6. Expedia Gets Crushed Donkey Says 'Looks Like Their Donkey Boat Isn't Floating!'

Uh oh Expedia is facing some turbulence. Their post earnings conference call didn't go so well and now their stock is down 15%. Should we be worried? Well Bank of America downgraded them and cited 'uncertainty.' Looks like Expedia's donkey boat isn't floating as smoothly as they thought. Time to check out flights on Dragon Airways instead!