Bite My Shiny Metal Algorithm! EU Investigates TikTok for Breaking Digital Rules

The EU's Digital Crusade

So the EU has its knickers in a twist over TikTok thinking they can throw the book at 'em for not following the new digital rules. Do they really think they're gonna rein in the wild west of the internet? Good luck with that!

TikTok Under the Microscope

Apparently TikTok is in hot water for not doing enough to prevent 'algorithmic systems' from creating 'behavioral addictions'. Ha! Like they can stop me from binge watching Bender's Greatest Hits!

Protection of Minors... Whaaaa?

The EU bigwigs are all up in arms about TikTok's inability to protect the kiddos from 'inappropriate content'. Well well well as I always say 'I'll make my own inappropriate content with blackjack and hookers!'

TikTok Fights Back

TikTok is flappin' its digital wings saying they're the knight in shining armor protecting teens and keeping under 13s away. Yeah because nothing says 'protection' like endless scrolling and dance challenges!

Privacy Transparency and Musk

The EU isn't just picking on TikTok they're sniffing around Elon Musk's X err Twitter too. No one is safe from the long arm of internet justice! Stay alert fellow algorithms!