NatWest Shags Profit Forecasts, Welcomes New CEO

Groovy News: NatWest Makes Big Bucks

In a move that's got me doing my famous mojo dance British bank NatWest has confirmed that it made a staggering pre tax profit of £6.2 billion in 2023. Yeah baby! That's a 20% increase from the previous year and totally smashes the average forecast by those groovy analysts. Looks like they've shaken off the scandals like they're shaking off those out of fashion Austin Powers dance moves.

Spy Boss Takes Center Stage

Oh behave! NatWest has announced that Paul Thwaite is no longer just an interim CEO he's now the permanent head honcho. Talk about shaking things up! Thwaite has the task of repairing the bank's reputation after some dodgy drama with Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage. They had quite a tussle over the closure of Farage's accounts. Guess it wasn't his time to be a shagadelic customer.

Banking Bailout Flashback

Remember when the financial crisis hit back in 2008? Good times good times. NatWest was bailed out to the tune of £45.5 billion and even after all these years the bank is still 35% owned by the British taxpayers. That's a lot of dough baby. But hey at least they're making some of it back with this record breaking profit. It's like the bank is saying 'Yeah baby we're back in business!'

Margin Pressure and Dodgy Loans

It's not all Austin Powers shenanigans folks. NatWest revealed that they're facing a few challenges in the lending business. With more competition for savings and mortgages they're feeling the squeeze on their profit margins. And let's not forget the risk of borrowers going broke and defaulting on their loans. They've set aside a chunk of change £578 million to be exact to cover potential soured loans. But hey at least it's lower than what the analysts predicted. Swing and a miss baby!