Trump to Stand Trial: The Hush, the Stormy, and the Charges

The Date is Set

In a dramatic courtroom moment Judge Juan Merchan confirmed that jury selection for the hush money trial of former President Donald Trump will commence on March 25. The trial is expected to last six weeks making it the longest trial in recent history. As if Trump doesn't have enough on his plate already this will be the first time a former president stands trial in a criminal case. Move aside Bill Clinton there's a new drama queen in town.

Can't Stop the Trial

Despite Trump's desperate attempts to have the case dismissed the judge was having none of it. Sorry Mr. Trump the show must go on. His lawyer Todd Blanche called the trial date a "great injustice" and "election interference." Classic Trump move always playing the victim card. But hey if getting a trial date makes you an aggrieved victim then I've got a whole list of first dates that qualify me for sainthood.

Silence is Golden

Let's not forget the reason behind this whole mess: Stormy Daniels and her alleged sexual tryst with the then presidential nominee. Trump of course denies everything. But come on who pays $130,000 for silence if there's nothing to hide? I guess silence isn't always the most golden of commodities.

Trial Bonanza

Just when you thought one trial was enough Trump is facing not one not two but three other pending criminal cases. It's like a trial bonanza! I can already see the headlines: 'Trump takes on the justice system one trial at a time.' Who needs reality TV when you have a former president facing not just hush money charges but also charges related to interfering in the 2020 presidential election? It's the gift that keeps on giving.

The Jury Questionnaire

Ah the jury questionnaire. A chance to dig deep into the minds of potential jurors and find out if they're Team Trump or not. The proposed questions include asking jurors about their news preferences their belief in the stolen election narrative and even if they've read any books by Trump. Because let's be honest if you haven't read 'The Art of the Deal,' can you really call yourself a juror?

Trump's White House Conspiracy

Of course Trump couldn't resist turning the trial into a grand conspiracy orchestrated by Joe Biden's White House. According to Trump the charges were filed to sabotage his chances of winning the 2024 presidential election. I hate to break it to you Mr. Trump but I don't think anyone needs to sabotage your chances. Your hair does a pretty good job of that on its own.