23andMe's Stock Sinks as Sarah Kerrigan Wonders if They'll Find a 'Zerg Gene'

Down and Out

Shares of the genetic testing company 23andMe took a nosedive after the company reported disappointing third quarter fiscal 2024 results. That's gotta sting!

Splitting Up

In a bid to boost its stock price 23andMe is considering a breakup. Talk about relationship drama! Co founder and CEO Anne Wojcicki wants to separate the consumer and therapeutics businesses. I guess they want to be independent just like me after being infested by the Zerg.

From DNA Testing to Therapeutics

Remember when 23andMe was all about DNA testing and finding out if you're part Neanderthal? Those were the days. Now they're dabbling in therapeutics and research businesses. Maybe they'll discover a 'Zerg gene' that turns everyone into a swarm of alien insects. Wouldn't that be fun?

An IPO Rollercoaster

Back in 2021 23andMe went public and briefly made its co founder Anne Wojcicki a billionaire. But things haven't gone smoothly since then. Their stock price has plummeted and they've struggled to make recurring revenue. Must be tough being a once hyped company. I can relate.

Data Breach Fallout

To make matters worse 23andMe had a major data breach last year with hackers accessing sensitive information from millions of individuals. I guess they really need to invest in better security. Maybe they should hire some Protoss sentinels.

Cautious Analysts

Analysts at Citi are feeling cautious about 23andMe's future. The company is facing numerous class action lawsuits and a damaged reputation. It's a tough road ahead for them. I know what it's like to have the weight of the galaxy on your shoulders.