President Biden Takes a Comedic Spin on Dutch Court's Order to Block F-35 Fighter Jet Exports to Israel

Biden's Take: 'Folks This One's Cinco De Mayo Early Celebration!'

Well well well I bet you didn't expect to see that headline today did you? The Dutch court ordered the government to block F 35 fighter jet parts exports to our good friends Israel. Now don't get me wrong we love Israel. But apparently there are concerns that these parts are being used in violations of international law. And let me tell you that's a big no no.

Biden's Quote of the Day: 'Sometimes You Just Need to Press Pause'

So the Dutch court wants the government to comply within seven days. They're giving them a chance to reconsider and take a breather. Kind of like when you're on a Zoom call and you accidentally leave your audio on while you take a bathroom break. It's embarrassing but hey we all need a pause sometimes.

The Blame Game: 'Not It!'

Israel is denying all these war crimes allegations and the defense ministry decided to stay mum on the court ruling. But hey that's like playing a game of 'Not It!' when someone asks who finished the last slice of pizza. It's a classic move.

Biden's Universe Joke: 'Is This Real Life or an SNL Skit?'

In a separate legal case the International Court of Justice ordered Israel to take action to prevent acts of genocide. Talk about heavy stuff! It's like we're in some parallel universe where international courts are handing out orders like Oprah with her 'You get a car!' moments. 'You get a court order! You get a court order!'

Protecting Gaza: 'Michiel Servaes to the Rescue!'

The human rights groups behind this case are hoping that the ruling will strengthen international law in other countries. They want to protect the citizens of Gaza and I have to say I'm all in favor of that. But let's be honest bringing out the big guns and launching F 35s in response might not be the best approach.

Possible Future Exports: 'A Gift for Israel With Conditions'

Presiding Judge Bas Boele gave a glimmer of hope that the Dutch government could allow the export of F 35 parts to Israel in the future. But there's a catch folks. These parts can only be sent if they won't be used in military operations in Gaza. It's like buying your kid a new video game console and saying 'You can play but only on weekdays and only for 30 minutes a day.'