Jeff Bezos Dumps $2 Billion Worth of Amazon Shares, Homer Simpson Reacts with Doughnut in Hand

Bezos Strikes Again

D'oh! Jeff Bezos the money makin' machine behind Amazon just sold $2.03 billion worth of his precious shares. That's enough money to buy Springfield the Kwik E Mart AND all the Duff Beer you could ever dream of!

Selling Like Hot Donuts

In case you're wondering that's about 12 million Amazon shares unloaded by Bezos. At an average price of $169.50 per share it's like selling Krusty Burgers at half price!

Trading Plan? More Like a Cunning Plan

Turns out Bezos had this sneaky trading plan in motion since November. It's like when Sideshow Bob hatches a plan to finally catch Bart Simpson. Only instead of capturing a mischievous kid he's capturing oodles of cash!

Heading to Miami Ay Caramba!

Guess where Bezos is moving? Miami! Looks like he's trying to turn up the heat and live that beach life. But can he handle the sunburn? We'll see.

Saving Millions in Taxes? Best. Decision. Ever.

By relocating to Miami and selling his shares Bezos is saving himself a truckload of cash. Now that's what I call a smart move! Maybe he should teach Mr. Burns a thing or two about tax loopholes.

From CEO to Cash Crazy

Ever since Bezos stepped down as Amazon CEO back in 2021 he's been on a selling spree. He even gave away $240 million in Amazon shares last year. I wish I had that kind of generosity. I'd give every neighbor in Springfield a box of pink frosted doughnuts!