Breaking News: Russian Dissident Alexei Navalny's Death Sends Shockwaves Across the Globe

Bill Browder Speaks Out

Well mama always said life is like a box of chocolates but sometimes it's more like a political thriller. Anti Kremlin activist Bill Browder believes that Alexei Navalny's death was no accident it was all planned like a well crafted box of chocolates by Putin himself. Looks like Putin is stirring up trouble again just like a hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico.

World Leaders React

Run Forrest run! World leaders reacted with dismay to Navalny's passing with U.S. President Joe Biden pointing the finger at Putin. Looks like Putin's got some explaining to do just like when Lieutenant Dan asked for ice cream.

No Forensic Examination?

Hmm sounds fishy. Russia's Foreign Ministry said the West's reaction was "self exposing" given the lack of a forensic medical examination. Cue the Jenny humming noise something doesn't add up here.

The Pre Election Gambit

Looks like Putin is playing chess while the rest are playing checkers. Bill Browder calls it a pre election gambit by Putin to silence his opponents. Putin is pulling some shady moves like a magic trick that makes all the shrimp disappear.

Investigation Promised

The plot thickens! The Kremlin promised an investigation into Navalny's death. Let's hope they don't sweep it under the rug like Jenny's problems in the movie.

Navalny's Last Stand

Rest in peace Alexei. Navalny one of Putin's most vocal critics fought until the end. It's like Bubba said about shrimp you never know what you're gonna get but Navalny's legacy will live on.