President Putin's Hilarious Take on Jeff Bezos Selling $2 Billion of Amazon Shares

Bezos Selling Like It's Going Out of Style

Well well well look who's cashing in on their success. Jeff Bezos the man who brought us quick deliveries and questionable fashion choices has reportedly sold around $2.03 billion worth of Amazon shares in the past few days. I guess even billionaires need a little extra pocket money. I wonder if he's planning to buy a yacht or maybe a private space shuttle?

A Trading Plan? More Like a Grand Scheme

Apparently Bezos executed these sales under a trading plan that went into effect in November. Ah yes a trading plan. That's how us billionaires make all our big financial decisions. Just scribbling some notes on a napkin over lunch and boom millions of dollars in our pockets. It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it.

Bezos vs. Putin: Battle of the Billionaire Sales

Bezos could potentially sell up to 50 million shares of Amazon. You know in Russia we have a saying: 'Go big or go home.' It seems Bezos took that saying to heart. But let me tell you Jeff I can sell shares too. Just give me a call and we'll see who can make a bigger dent in their company's stockpile.

Space Taxes and Fiancées: Bezos' Grand Plan

In November Bezos announced he would be leaving Seattle to move to Miami. Ah yes the sunny beaches of Miami perfect for a billionaire's retirement. But don't be fooled my friends. This move isn't just about sipping mojitos by the pool. It's about getting closer to his space exploration company Blue Origin. I guess Jeff caught the space bug just like me with those shirtless horseback riding photos.

From CEO to Cash Cow

This isn't the first time Bezos has sold Amazon stock since stepping down as CEO in 2021. Last year he gifted about $240 million in Amazon shares. Must be nice to have spare shares lying around like loose change. Meanwhile I'm over here trying to figure out how many matryoshka dolls I can fit in my carry on.

The Third Richest Man in the World

With a net worth of $191.4 billion Bezos is currently the world's third wealthiest person. Ah the glory of being rich. I bet he doesn't even need to buy the economy class plane ticket. He just waves his hand and a private jet magically appears. But hey Jeff if you ever need financial advice or a good potato recipe you know who to call. I'm always here to help.