Agent J's Take: Russia Still Eyeing Kyiv, Will They Ever Learn?

Russia's Unwavering Determination

So the Russians are at it again eying Kyiv like it's a prize in a claw machine. Deputy chairman of the Russian Security Council Dmitry Medvedev seems to think they'll 'reach Kiev' eventually. Maybe not now but later. Classic Russians always thinking they can get what they want even if it means trying over and over again.

Medvedev's Grand Plans

Medvedev a former prime minister and president is now on the 'conquer Kyiv' bandwagon claiming it's a 'Russian city' that poses a threat to wait for it the existence of the Russian Federation. Someone needs to remind him that Earth is a planet not a Russian backyard. Maybe he's been watching too much 'fake news'.

Putin's Imperial Dreams

Putin and his gang don't seem content with the measly 18% of Ukraine they currently occupy. No no they've got bigger plans. They want it all like a kid who can't share his toys in the playground. Let's hope they don't find any alien tech that'll help them in their conquest or we'll have a real mess on our hands.

Imperial Appetite: The Russian Sequel

Analysts warn that Putin will never be satisfied with just '18% off Ukraine guaranteed not to stain or stick'. If he gets a taste of victory he'll be hungry for more. Looks like Putin's taking notes from the evil aliens who just can't get enough of Earth's resources. We've got an intergalactic crisis on our hands folks.

Victory at a Cost

Russia may have captured Avdiivka but it came with a hefty price tag. Estimates suggest they lost between 16,000 to 47,000 troops in the battle. Seems like the Russians are playing a numbers game sacrificing their soldiers like pawns just to move the front lines closer. Let's hope they run out of chess pieces soon.

From Avdiivka to the Stars

With the recent victory at Avdiivka Russian forces are on cloud nine. Putin and his Defense Minister Shoigu are probably celebrating like they've won the lottery. But let's remember this is no game. Real lives are at stake and the repercussions of their actions could be out of this world.